So yeah, I had every intention of putting an end of the year post up on New Years Eve. But two nights prior, I’d driven 16 plus hours to get home from New England so that sleep deficit won out, big time. Then I had to return to the rat race the next week and that snow balled into today.
Anyways, like many members of the human race I spent a good bit of the holidays wondering about this next year/decade and what I was going to do to somehow make my myself and, seemingly by proxy, my life, better and more shiny than the last (year/decade, not life).
So I thought and I pondered. I focused equally on my failings and successes. I dwelled on mistakes and what I would’ve done differently. I focused on sad moments and times where I was exhilarated.
I did this quite a bit, and honestly? I didn’t come up with a whole hell of a lot that I’d change.
In many ways the last decade used me as punching bag emotionally (and physically somewhat), but in every instance it molded me into a person that appreciates life even more.
I don’t feel deadened by any of it and I don’t feel enriched per say, I just feel… honed.
For the first time ever in my life, I lost family and friends who were incredibly dear to me. Their passing wasn’t timely or fair, but I came away with an intense understanding of the organic nature of everything. That everything is so damn temporary and that preconceived shelf lives mean absolutely nothing. I learned more so than ever that there is an exception to every rule and that that exception assumes many roles. I learned that the gift of breath is sweet and that I miss it when it’s gone. I learned acutely, that our bodies are just vessels and that when they are emptied, what’s left truly doesn’t matter.
I learned that I’m aging… officially. That when you run your fastest and collide with a similarly shaped, just bigger, object that you don’t mend as quickly you did when you were 18, or even 25. That grey hairs show up at odd times and when they do, they are ear-marked pages in a story still being written and that they shouldn’t be unfolded or forgotten. Quite the opposite in fact. It means most likely that you’re living your life.
I learned that trying to go “back to basics” is actually an evolution of oneself and is a goal worth fighting to attain.
I learned I’m tired of having “stuff” and that getting rid of it is ok. Really.
I learned that music is truly a thread that every human holds in some form or capacity.
I learned that helping people out for less or no compensation than normal is often more rewarding. Especially when they are genuinely grateful.
I learned that “getting yours” often gets you nowhere.
I learned that I really hate money and that I wish I didn’t any of it at all.
I learned that there is actually something scarier than living through a logging truck accident. I also learned that I never want to skydive again. Ever.
I learned that finishing something that is special to you is equally as important as when you started it. Even if it was years ago.
I also learned where Melinda and I are heading and I gotta tell you, it’s a pretty cool place! We just gotta find out where. 😉
So yeah, I learned a lot. We all did. But that doesn’t necessarily equate to any life changing resolutions. The route I’m on is a noble one, at least I like to I think it is. But even the best scenarios could use a little tweaking.
So, that said, here’s what I’d like to brush up on:
- Consume less, so I can be present more.
- Don’t let so many irritants drag me down in my day to day. Life’s too short.
- Get more out of my comfort zone frequently.
- Write more. It’s saved me so many times and it’s become too neglected as of late.
- Hike/camp more.
- See more of the world.
It’s a short list, but there’s some good stuff there. Stuff I can’t wait to experience and share! I’d love to skip to a future chapter. But something tells me this story is just getting started.